Underneath, there’s a seed in the dirt, with lots of roots and a little shoot of a few new leaves reaching for the sky. It says: I’m afraid. I’m brave. I’m ready.
I’m afraid. I’m afraid that the snow will crush me. Of loving too much and getting hurt. Of not making the impact in this world that I know I was meant to. Of dying too young. Of hurting someone. Of not trusting myself. Of never starting. Of being sick, sicker, sickest. Even worse, I’m afraid of success. Of having to grow into my potential fully, and the energy it will take to become a real plant, not just a seed.
I’m brave. I’ve lived through a lot. This isn’t the first snow of the season. I’m no bullshit. My body and I are friends more now than ever... seed, roots, leaves.. I know what my needs are. I have a fire burning inside of me… correction, raging, to make a difference. To contribute. I know when it’s time the sun will come out, and I say, bring it!
I’m ready. (My brain immediately says, are you sure?) This is a tough one. This brings up the question for me: when do I know I’m ready? When do I know enough to begin, to start, to change? I want to know it all first, and then start. I don’t want to be messy, look silly, or lead someone astray. Maybe I'm not ready...
Okay, let’s try this again… I’m ready. Why? Because I know I’m both afraid and brave. And that I can be both, and still begin. In the past I’ve been afraid, or I’ve been brave. Either hiding in a corner, or out in the in the spotlight. Maybe it’s okay to have the parts in the shadow supporting the parts in the light… and maybe they can even get a little of the light themselves. Maybe they should.
Honestly, we’ll never be fully ready. Waiting for that time is a great way to avoid it. So we need to be ready enough. And we need to admit that it’s scary and amazing. And maybe that’s when we know that it’s actually time to begin something.
And, lastly, we get to tell our community, to be seen, validated, and held accountable (that cozy hiding place is looking pretty appealing again all of a sudden). Go figure, nature thinks this sometimes too… here it’s been warm and sunny spring, those leaves and buds are starting to come out, and now we’re under a blanket of snow. The buds are afraid yet brave. They’ll perservere and be stronger for it. And so will mine. Timing is everything. When you know it’s time to start… start.
So, is there somewhere in your life that you are actually ready to begin something new? To step into change? Maybe you don’t have to wait any longer. Maybe you’re ready… enough. Sometimes not feeling fully ready means you actually are ready. Spring teaches us the seeds in ourselves that are ready to start growing. My suggestion is to write it and share it, or say it out loud. Somehow it gets more real. It freaks you out just enough to give you greater conviction.
So here's the idea:
1. Pick one “seed” or area that seems ready enough to start to grow.
2. Write down what it is. Set yourself up for success and be concise, to the point, try for a pithy phrase. Make it your mantra, stick it to your mirror, somewhere you can see it.
3. Tell one trusted person. Let them help support you.
This doesn't have to be big drama. But it does need to help you start the process. Now.
This is what I’m doing today. Time to get some seeds sprouting folks!