Bittersweet ~ Authentic ~ Inspiring
zina mercil
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My week. a poem.

3/10/2016

6 Comments

 
Sometimes things seem too potent to try to share using narrative writing. At moments like these I watch myself turn towards my own bastardized form of poetry, to get to what’s vital. So here we go...
 
I wanted to share with you a little bit of what I learned from conversations in my relationships (with myself and others) this week:
 
​
Isn’t it sad how we come into the world in diapers and then go back to diapers. It’s pathetic.
No, it’s humbling.
 
What am I doing with my life?
I want to curl into a ball, in a cave, and never come out.
To give up. Because I’m overwhelmed.
But instead it’s time to create
These are growing pains.
 
They rock me like waves.
What lies beneath the waves?
What anchors me so I don’t float away from my potential?
 
You and your potential are fruit
The pain right now lies in how ripe you are, yet still on the stem
You will fall to the ground at some point regardless of ripeness, and be incorporated there.
So, how do you nurture yourself to feed your own fecund earth?
 
I know I need to nurture, I need to slow down… I’m overwhelmed, and I did it to myself again.
My business is how I cope.
I judge myself for not being able to internally motivate to change.
Right now it just feels like it needs to come from the outside.
But you don’t want it to come from your doctor.
(No, I want it to come from you.)
 
This is the hospital calling to schedule your next procedure.
 
Ego check.
Reality check.
Vulnerable. Scared. But of course I’ll be fine. I always am.
There’s my external motivation. It’s not the one I wanted. It never is.
But part of me is relieved. Now I have permission to come back to what matters.
Health. Relationship. Purpose.
 
And I’m reminded to:
Live your truth and share it,
You never know who you’re going to inspire.
 
 
Humbling growing pains
rock me like waves
The ripe fall.
 
Slow down.
Change is calling you.
 
Health. Relationship. Purpose. Inspiration.
 
6 Comments
wayne
3/10/2016 07:22:38 pm

poetry is always good medicine!

Reply
Zina
3/10/2016 09:46:41 pm

Agreed! Just beginning to explore that prescription! Thanks Wayne for reading~ Z

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Janet link
3/11/2016 02:25:50 pm

Much in this poem is felt universally: needing to nurture; slow down; being overwhelmed; doing this to ourselves; resistance to change. Thank you, Zina, for sharing your personal story in a poignant way that makes others realize they are not alone.

Reply
Zina
3/12/2016 05:52:10 am

I definitely feel these universal themes as well... Glad to hear it came across in a relatable way for you! Z

Reply
Ali
3/14/2016 07:50:38 am

Sending you good thoughts Zina! I know you are a strong woman and can get through the challenges life is throwing at you. Take care lady!

Reply
Zina
3/14/2016 09:46:27 am

Thank you Ali for your support- means the world! Z

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    Author

    Zina is a body-oriented psychotherapist, passionate about using her own experience of life-altering medical setbacks to inspire others to look at the meaning and interpretation of illness, and everyday life.

    ABOUT THIS BLOG

    Here’s the deal: I’m going to share parts of my experience, and you get to ask yourself the question “Does this feel true for me?” If it adds some humor, insight, or inspiration for your life situation, and I truly hope it does, then great! If it doesn’t, that’s okay too- just take what may be meaningful and let go of the rest. We’re both similar in our humanity, and unique in our experiences. There's room for it all. 
     
    (Though I am a LPCC therapist in the State of Colorado, this blog is not to be taken as direct mental health or medical advice. Please consult your mental health and/or medical professionals with any questions pertaining to your specific situation.)

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